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"The Merry Muses of Caledonia"

JOHN ANDERSON, MY JO, JOHN

TUNE: John Anderson

WBC Note:- More regularly sung than you might imagine, here is the bawdy rendition of that famous ballad. Listen out next time you here it being performed. You might just hear the odd sneaky verse from this version !

 



Original

Translation

John Anderson, my jo, John,
I wonder what ye mean,
To lie sae lang i' the mornin',
And sit sae late at e'en?
Ye'll bleer a' your een', John,
And why do ye so?
Come sooner to your bed at e'en,
John Anderson, my jo.

John Anderson, my jo, John,
When first that ye began,
Ye had as good a tail?trees,
As ony ither man;
But now its waxen wan', John,
And wrinkles to and fro;
I've twa gae?ups for ae gae?down,
John Anderson, my jo.

I'm backit' like a salmon,
I'm breastit like a swan;
My wameit is a down?cod
My middle ye may span:
Frae my tap?knot'° to my tae, John,
I'm like the new-fa'n snow;
And it's a' for your convenience,
John Anderson, my jo.

O it is a fine thing
To keep out o'er the dyke ;
But it's a meikle finer thing,
To see your hurdies fyke;
To see your hurdies fyke, John,
And hit the rising blow;
It's then I like your chanter-pipe,
John Anderson, my jo.

When ye come on before, John,
See that ye do your best;
When ye begin to haud me,
See that ye grip me fast;
See that ye grip me fast, John,
Until that I cry `Oh!'
Your back shall crack or I do that,
John Anderson, my jo.

John Anderson, my jo, John,
Ye're welcome when ye please;
It's either in the warm bed
Or else aboon the claes:
Or ye shall hae the horns, John,
Upon your head to grow;
An' that's the cuckold's malison,
John Anderson, my jo.

John Anderson, my love, John,
I wonder what you mean,
To lie so long in the morning,
And sit so late at night?
You'll make your eyes go bleary , John,
And why do you so?
Come sooner to your bed at night,
John Anderson, my love.

John Anderson, my love, John,
When first that you began,
You had as good a set of buttocks,
As any other man;
But now its pale and saggy, John,
And wrinkles to and fro;
I have two go?ups, for your one go?down,
John Anderson, my jo.

I'm backed like a salmon,
I'm breasted like a swan;
My belly it is a feather pillow
My middle you may span:
From my head to my toe, John,
I'm like the new fallen snow;
And it's all for your convenience,
John Anderson, my jo.

O it is a fine thing
To refrain from sexual activity ;
But it's a much finer thing,
To see your buttocks heave;
To see your buttocks heave, John,
And hit the rising blow;
It's then I like your penis,
John Anderson, my jo.

When you come on before, John,
See that you do your best;
When you begin to hold me,
See that you grip me fast;
See that you grip me fast, John,
Until that I cry `Oh!'
Your back shall crack before I do that,
John Anderson, my jo.

John Anderson, my jo, John,
You're welcome when you please;
It's either in the warm bed
Or else above the clothes:
Or you shall have the horns, John,
Upon your head to grow;
And that's the cuckold's curse,
John Anderson, my jo.

 

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